11 May 2009

Rough week

Last week was so rough. Yes I know my hormones are mainly responsible but it doesn’t make it any easier to accept or live with.
It was E’s birthday and T's birthday is coming up it was mother’s day and well it all got too much. I was feeling bad as I kept thinking of T’s birthday on E’s birthday. And then E did Mothers day concert at school it was so cute but I sat there crying cause I can’t ever be there for T and I keep thinking that it’s not fair cause I should be grateful that E and M are in my life but my councilor says it’s ok to grieve for her. But I feel it’s been a year, surly I should be ok and not feel this way all the time? I don’t know I just want to be able to walk past a baby and not wonder about her or not feel like my heart is being ripped out.