As a Mother and Birthmom I struggle with Mother’s Day.
Mother’s day is a day when we honour our Mothers and
Grandmothers and all the motherly figures in our lives. It is a very special
day. Many of you who have adopted will know the dread that you felt for this
special day, before you became mom’s as it reminded you so much of everything
you longed for yet didn’t have yet. Those of you still on the journey to
motherhood also dread this wonderful day, and secretly you plan for the day you
will be honoured as a mom.
Now as a Birthmom, Mother’s day has become bitter sweet for
me. I am reminded I am no longer T’s mother; I am not recognised by society as
her mother, yet I yearn to be her mom. This is the day I remember what I have
lost and what I am missing out by not raising her. It is a very hard day for me
and most birthmoms. This is said to be the second hardest day for birthmom’s
the first being your child’s birthday.
But despite my wanting to hide and pretend this day does not
exist, I cannot hide from mother’s day as I am still a mother to my other two
beautiful girls who do their best to spoil me. So I have to put on a happy face
and carry on for them as they are honouring me as their mom.
I will also honour T’s Mom tomorrow with a sms Thanking her
for loving T, and being wonderful mom. Because despite my pain it is still her
day and always will be her day as T’s Mom. Just as it is my day as my daughters
Mom.
So tomorrow spare a thought for a Birthmom or your child’s
Birthmom and send a prayer their way and give them strength to know how special
and loved they are.
