Regrets

The other night on Facebook I was chatting to a friend with whom I grew up with.

And we got to chatting about life and how we never thought that we would end up where we are now. This got me to thinking about regrets and if I could what would I now do differently.

Well I thought about it and I think the only two things I regret are:
Not looking after my body as well as I could have (my weight) and,
Being afraid of taking opportunities that were presented to me, making me lose out on said opportunities (going overseas at age 20).

I don’t regret my Marriage.
I got two beautiful girls from this.
I learnt that I don’t need to lose myself to be a wife.
I learnt that what I think and feel are important.
I learnt that I can have a say and still be a good wife.

I don’t regret my Divorce
I found myself.
I learnt that I am sexy if I feel sexy (not because someone says I am)
I learnt that I can ask for what I want.
I learnt that it’s ok to be single
I learnt that I don’t need a husband to be a person.

I don’t regret being with T’s SD (Sperm Donor)
I learnt that I can trust my gut feelings
I learnt that fairy tales don’t exist
I learnt that I will fight for what is right
I learnt that I can walk away when I need to.
I learnt to be humble
I learnt to swallow my pride.
I learnt to ask for help
I learnt that I am not stupid just trusting

I don’t regret placing T for adoption
I learnt what a mother’s love means
I learnt that I will survive
I learnt that I am stronger than I believed
I learnt that I can stick to a decision no matter how hard it is for me.
I learnt that I am a good Mom (I do make mistakes but I learn from them)
I learnt that it’s ok to admit defeat
I learnt that I will always grieve but its ok to get up and keep going.

I don’t regret Friendships that have ended
I have learnt that real friends are hard to find
I have learnt that not everyone will like me and that’s ok
I have learnt to walk away (Not always easy but necessary)
I have learnt gossip is hurtful
I have learnt to say sorry
I have learnt to not be needy (my friends will still be there)
I have learnt I do not need friends to be happy (I still like the ones I have)
I have learnt to tell the friends I have that they are special and loved.
I have learnt the difference between acquaintances and real friends.

So I wouldn’t change the things that have happened. But I have learnt a great deal from them .